John H. Gohde: his hatred and racism cataloged

So how is John H. Gohde taking his humliliating banishment from Google Webmaster Groups ? With humility and a quiet promise to learn from his mistakes ? Or with bluster, ignorance and false bravado ?

Have a guess.

Gohde’s now effectively banished to a Google Labs iGroups, a sad and lonely little group referred to by the Google Webmaster Help group as “Trollback Mountain”, where he and fellow troll Igor Berger can troll each other to their hearts content, and share in their banished love which the rest of society just doesn’t understand. We quote from here:

Igor to Gohde: “JHG, there is smoething (sic) I have to tell you, but I cannot say it here. Come to my forum, and I will talk to you in PM. “

Gohde to Igor: “I will post you there tonight. “

Igor to Gohde: It’s nobody’s business but ours.

Gohde to Igor: You know I ain’t no troll.

Igor to Gohde: Me neither.

Gohde to Igor: “Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin’ real good life! Had us a place of our own, that Google Webmaster Group. But you didn’t want it, Berger! So what we got now is Trollback Mountain! Everything’s built on that! That’s all we got, boy, fuckin’ all. You have no idea how bad it gets! I’m not you… I can’t make it on a coupla trolls in an empty newsgroup once or twice a year! You are too much for me Igor, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you. “

(Okay - we did make that last few up)

Now - with Gohde’s past history of being thrown out of discussion groups, it should be easy to see how he’ll react. We can expect:

1. “I never wanted to be in your gang anyway and I was going to leave anyway before you threw me out so I AM THE WINNER !”
2. “You are all stupid and I never wanted to play with you anyway, even for the previous ten months I was playing with you every day”
3. “I’m going to get a better gang and they’re going to come and beat you up and then you’ll be sorry for making me cry.”

And what’s the first post he makes after he’s been thrown out ?

• Never wanted to be in your stupid gang anyway: “The old group was as boring as it gets. I would have left them long ago, had it not been for those trolls being so down right nasty.”
• You are all stupid:“Time to stop throwing my pearls upon moronic slime, I say. “
• I’m going to get a better gang:“My next new FREE website will be about me playing with those SEO Trolls, just like a cat plays with a mouse”

But it gets funnier.

Of all the great avenging characters, who does Gohde choose to liken himself to ?

Just like in Ghostbusters the movie, the form of the destroyer has been chosen by the SEO Trolls, except that this time it wont be Stay Puff, the Pilsburghy Dough Boy.

Hillariously, he can’t even get the name right. Oh dear.

Well, if the form he will take in future has been chosen by the thoughts of those in the Google Webmaster Help groups, expect a giant asshole to start rampaging through the streets of Richmond any time soon.

The only question is: how will we spot the difference ?

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Since nearly declaring victory yesterday, we thought it would be nice to show our loyal readers the success of this blog.

It’s been a great journey.

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Let’s all remember the day, 7/29/07, as the day the scourge of internet newsgroups was finally silenced.

I’m sorry, John, but that’s the end. Effective immediately, you are no longer welcome in this group under any alias. Please note that any subsequent violations of Google’s Terms of Service — including but not limited to attempts to rejoin this group or abusive behavior in
other groups — may result in your access being disabled in other areas of Google as well.

We know that John will not heed Google employee Adam’s warning and will start to set up some more of his many aliases which pretty much guarantees that he will have an over all ban soon.

We’ll probably have to direct our efforts elsewhere soon (perhaps a nice Natural Health site? Hmm…) but let’s remember John H. Gohde for what he was, a Newsgroup Troll. For you, we highlight some gems from John Gohde’s final thread.

I could tell right off that the guy needed to work on the basics. And, probably couldn’t even articulate correctly what he really want to say.

Anybody with half-a-brain who who spent a weekend studying your
situation could figure out a work around solution to the problem. Even if it required moving the site to a service that actually made a lick of sense for YOU. Since I find it hard to believe that any service could possibly be as restrictive as you have suggested, I expect that YOU still not have correctly articulated what the real problem is.

I am still here, because one of the weekends I spent figuring out how to still be here.

If you don’t like your current service, why in the world are you still there? Oh I see, the entire world (as in Google) is supposed to change to suite YOU, because you are too lazy to put an ounce of effort into anything.

This is the suggestion sub-group. People are NOT seeking help here, but only making suggestions. It is a public forum. That means all suggestions are open to public comment.

I make no apologies for being smarter than you, or for expressing my own point of view.

The suggestion was and still is a totally horrible idea, for obvious reasons, IMHO.

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It’s a good thing to be ranked #1 for John H Gohde. Our referrals haven’t gone up that much, but it sends a strong signal for anyone researching the abusive ways of John H. Gohde to see the first site returned as one that catalogs his legendary newsgroup abuse. With little to no marketing on our part, the cream has risen to the top.

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Ding dong: the witch is dead !

07/07/07 has indeed lived up to expectations and been a doubly lucky day.

Firstly, John Gohde, the serial troll, unashamed racist, defiant bigot, and toothless failure, has finally left Google Webmaster Groups to troll elsewhere.

Secondly - and hilariously - he’s been forced to end up conversing at Google-Labs-iGoogle with his troll-mate: serial cretin and fellow Google Webmaster Groups expellee Igor Berger, a man even more hated at GWG than the repulsive Gohde, and who declares “Between my awakening and going to sleep I spend all my time on a computer.”

If there was any doubt that Gohde is now paired with his intellectual equal, it was dispelled when the self-declared “natural health expert” changed his screen name to “Secret Admirer”. We’re assuming that he envys Igor’s abusive trolling, but there may be a different explanation - given that Gohde is so deep in the closet he keeps finding Christmas presents.

So what level of advice are these two geniuses dispensing between them ? Take a look…

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John H Gohde likes to think he can prove he’s far more knowledgeable than his contemporaries. Unfortunately, he never manages to persuade anyone other than himself.

But when it comes to taunts, “I once did a 30-hour computer course 20 years ago” is about as unimpressive as you can get.

Hence this gobsmackingly poor attempt at oneupmanship on the Google Webmaster Help forums:

How Many Programmers Routinely Do Core Dumps?
How many know what a core dump is?

On what computers where core dumps performed on?

So, much for the value of HTML coding and W3C Validation.

Ha, … Hah, Ha!

This is so bizarre you might want to take a minute to soak it all in. But in short:

• Core dumps have nothing whatsoever to do with being a webmaster.
• No webmaster needs to know what computers core dumps are performed on.
• No-one gives a toss how many programers do core dumps.
• No-one except the voices in Gohde’s skull have any idea whatsoever what the “HTML coding and W3C Validation” comment is about.
• As usual, Gohde’s abusive trademark “Ha, … Hah, Ha!” signifies a cue to laugh at him, rather than with him
• And it goes without saying that his post, as usual, contains not one single iota of information.

So Gohde begins by trying to make himself look like an expert - and ends up, once again, looking like an idiot.

And in case we forget: the computer genius John Gohde is the same man who sources only the most up-to-date computer equipment :

Last year, I fished a Windows95 computer system out of the dumpster. I never did much with it because it was somewhat password protected. Turns out that it has 40 Megs of Ram. And, because Windows95 is smaller the online speed is quite acceptable. Even with its 28K modem, my ISP software is reporting the fastest connection speed ever: 56K!!!! How a 28K modem can connect at 56K is beyond me. Its only real problem is a 1 Gig HD.

A bit slow, no use to anyone, rapidly aging, and belongs in the trash ? That sounds familiar.

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