John H. Gohde: his hatred and racism cataloged

There is an interesting discussion over at the Google Webmaster Help Groups, which is currently being polluted by the personality of John H. Gohde (formula: three parts idiocy to five parts arrogance to eight part hatred and racism)

Gohde is currently trying (and failing) to reinvent himself as a SEO Genius. Having failed at establishing himself as a similar expert in (among others) natural health, medicine and fitness usenet groups - all of which have ended with him having to leave with his tail between his legs - he’s now having a go at web optimisation. And not very well.

So a current straw poll is running to see whether Gohde’s poisonous and racist posts warrant him being placed on personal moderation. The only argument against so far is that Gohde occasionally contributes something which is neither venomous or wrong.

So lets do out own straw poll on Gohde’s last ten posts made under his “N-H-P” persona. If more than half of his most recent posts don’t contain personal attacks, wholesale arrogance, errors of fact, or his utterly perplexing catchphrases (”Ha….hah, ha !”, anyone ?) we’ll stop this blog here and now. Promise.

Here we go.

1. ” I do not care if you go away mad. This group does NOT need any of your
pollution. Just go away and get a life. Is that so hard? “ Oh dear. Not a good start. We’ll chalk this one up under “personal attacks”

2. “I can see clearly now who is wasting their time voting on my posts. Ha, … Hah, Ha! ” One for catchphases, we think…

3. “Great looking site! …What a way to go. Looks cool to me.” Should we eat our words ? Er, no. He’s actually replying to ….get this… himself.

4. He defends his previous comment “Total nonsense! Just like most of the stuff on your blog” with “I was simply being totally objective as usual. “. Er, no, John.

5. “Moderator, I positively want this creep dealt with. This person just personally attacked me on another thread. He is obviously mentally unstable. I want him removed from this group, for at least one year. “ Are you starting to see where this is going ?

6. ” I suggest that you figure out how to correctly reply to posts on this group. Or, kindly take your dribble else where….It is good to be number one. Too bad that you are NOT. Ha, … Hah, Ha! “”

7. “Why some people have to make something so simple as SEOing a WordPress blog complicated, only indicates to me that they fundamentally don’t know what they are talking about, most of the time. Or, could it be that they are only intentionally trying to deceive people? “

8. “Total nonsense! Just like most of the stuff on your blog. “

9. “(See, when replying to a post proper form REQUIRES the use of quotes. Just thought that the new person might want to know.) “

10. “Perhaps, if you were to concentrate? Usenet rules have stated for over a decade that when replying to a post, you are supposed to quote what you replying to. “

So in just ten posts we have not a single piece of useful advice. Indeed, you could delete all of these posts and the sum of human knowledge would be just the same.

What we do have are:

…seven personal attacks on other posters
and …four cretinous catchphrases
and …six displays of misplaced arrogance
and …one ’sockpuppet’ conversation with himself
but …zero pieces of useful or correct advice.

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It was only a few days ago that we brought your attention to Gohde’s pathetic attempts to justify having two separate posting identities: NHPand John H. Gohde

At the time, you may remember he wrote:

Do I have a split personality? No, of course not!

but as we pointed out, in Gohde’s decade-long obsessive posting history he has used several hundred aliases. We’ll repeat that. Several hundred.

So how long was it going to take him before he started arguing with himself ?

One….two…three….

Oh dear.

Let’s talk about the Google -30 penalty. While Google remains schtum on the workings of its ranking algorithms, an overwhelming weight of ancdotal evidence had pretty much conclusively proved that it exists.

No-one really doubts that. Even
a certain John H. Gohde wrote on the 21st April:

“The -30 filter is a penalty that Google applies to web sites that use
spammy SEO techniques. If Google applies the penalty to a web site,
the rankings of that site are downgraded by 30 positions.”

But does anyone disagree ?

Oh yes. And he goes by the name of, er, “John H. Gohde”. That name sound at all familiar ?

I am beginning to think that all of this so called penalties is nothing but a myth being endlessly repeated by SEO Trolls just so that they can take advantage of naive people, like you.

An understandably incredulous poster asks

So your saying there is no such thing as a penalty?

And Gohde answers:

The entire notion of a penalty is mostly just a myth being promoted by SEO trolls, IMHO.

But to be fair, some time had passed between the two posts. A good, er, three hours.

And remember - this is from the man who calls himself “the SEO guy”

The same man who described Google as “a network of a 100,000 or so PC’s that exist all over the global[sic]”

Move over, Matt Cutts. There’s a new kid in town.

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A week or so ago, Gohde added a new posting identity - “John H. Gohde” - to his existing “N-H-P” account fro his troll posts on Google Webmaster Groups. At the time, he posted:

Why do I post to the Google Webmaster Help group with 2 different
account names?
Is it a secrete plot to deceive people? Nope!
Do I have a split personality? No, of course not!
Am I trying to escape my N-H-P posting history? Nope!

Perish the thought.

Most people who will have done research on Gohde’s old posts on Usenet will have noticed that Gohde frequently changes his posting identity, initially to avoid killfiles, and after he was thrown off his old ISP but also so he could post as a “glovepuppet”. Check any of Gohde’s old posts, find a thread where posters appear to strongly agree with him, then check their posting history. It’ll begin, and end, on the day of that post.

At the moment Gohde - whose regular “one-star” post ratings from other members has been upsetting him - is using his two identities to “vote” for each others posts with a five star rating each time. He had admitted this himself: “Voting is no longer a problem for people with super powers, either. ”

What most people won’t be aware of is the level of deception John Gohde puts in to to maintain multiple identities.

Isn’t that right, johngohde@naturalhealthperspective.com - or - mr.gold@nag.com - or - deman[83]@hotmail.com - or - deman@justsayno.com - or - heatlh@nag.com - or - deman[87]@hotmail.com - or - bite_me_[1]@hotmail.com - or - john_’is_here_to_stay’@hotmail.co, - or - jhgohde@wmconnect.comMOOSH…

We could go on.

We will go on…. johnhgohde@worldnet.att.net - or - john_’rules’@hotmail.com - or - jhgohde@wmconnect.com - or - analsexfagboy@hotmail.com - or - deman[91]@hotmail.com - or - deman[4]@hotmail.com - or - sir_john@getstev.com - or - jhgohde@wmconnect.comVitalism - or - john_1_’knows_all’@hotmail.com - or - DeMan@fulman.com

And on…jhgohde@wmconnect.comnick - or - jhgohde@wmconnect.comSnar - or - john_2_’knows_all’@hotmail.com - or - deman[103]@hotmail.com - or - deman@naturalhealthperspective.com - or - deman[100]@hotmail.com - or - deman[73]@hotmail.com - or - richmondfuckbuddy@hotmail.com
And on…deman@fschulman.com - or - john_’rules_you’@hotmail.com - or - deman@ffmd.com - or - deman[77]@hotmail.com - or - deman@ffsilver.com - or - sgeek@hotmail.com - or - deman@ffscience.com - or - deman[78]@hotmail.com - or - deman[104]@hotmail.com - or - gold@nag.com - or - deman[80]@hotmail.com - or - deman[10]@hotmail.com

Why put in all this effort ? The answer is surprisingly simple, and threefold.

Firstly, he has the time. Usenet is his life. No friends, no family, no life outside his computers, and a job he hates.

Secondly, Gohde loves a platform. No-one has listened to him now. Not at school, not at home, not at work, and certainly not now, where he sits alone. But what Gohde does know is that the world should be listening to him. That’s why he puts so much effort into trying to make himself into an authority on whatever newsgroup he is currently trolling. (His latest attempt ? Signing himself as “The SEO Guy”. Anyone who has read his posts will know exactly how misguided this is)

Thirdly, what Usenet offers - unlike his real life - is a chance to reinvent himself every time his new personality comes through to the surface.

So lets say, his repressed anger gets the better of him, the true Gohde surfaces, and he says - as he did - “Exactly how many nigger dicks have you sucked in your life ? You sound like a politically-correct slut.” - he can just discard the usenet identity and slither away, like a snake leaving its skin.

Or, if he posts: “When your brain is fucked up enough to be gay, then every aspect of your life is totally fucked!”, it’s no biggie. Just slither away into a new identity.

Or if he posts: “Sounds like something the nigger would say to the white lady that he was raping in the Astro Dome”, what do we hear ? Slither, slither, John.

If only life were that easy, huh, John ? Then you wouldn’t be where you are now - spending every day wishing you were someone - anyone - else but you.

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If we were scriptwriting for John H Gohde, and wanted him to look ludicrous, we could hardly do a better job than the man himself has done here:

Abusing the English language to suite your own private agenda does not promote communication at any level.

If that weren’t funny enough, Gohde’s own illiteracy is the stuff of legend. In just the last 24 hours:

However I have noticed that some body has already optimized for 1-Day
Signs.

There is absolutely no such animal [?] other than in that your demented head of yours.

I butt tired of you butting in where you clearly do NOT belong.

As we said before: what a buffoon.

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A poster in this thread asked

This is code to put ACTUAL TEXT embedded in an image, so the text is still readable by bots. This is NOT text on an image, but REAL text still ‘highlightable’.

or in other words, text with a styled background image. Simple to understand, no ? Even if the description was ambiguous, the HTML was fairly obvious to anyone with a modicum of intelligence.

Not so for John H. Gohde to understand, though. This may not surprise regular readers.

Here’s his first reply.

Images are images. Tables are tables. Bots, spiders, and crawlers do NOT read graphics. They read text. And, to claim that a table is a graphic does NOT promote rational communication at any level. Just thought that you might want to be more objective in the future.

Which kind of misses the point that this is text with a styled background image. But he has to realise his mistake soon and correct himself doesn’t he ?

Again, regular readers will be ahead of the pack on this one.

Images are images. Text is Text. Bots, spiders, and crawlers do NOT read graphics. They read text. And, to claim that background graphics is “TEXT embedded in an image” is just plain moronic. It most certainly does NOT promote rational communication at any level. No matter how you rationalize it. Images are images. Text is text. And, CSS rather tables does NOT change this fundamental concept.

Want text embedded in an image? Then use the pdf file format!!!

My current website template uses CSS along with tables. And, I never
have suffered from the flu in my entire life.

Some people are just hopelessly confused, among other things.

Apparently so, John.

Anyway - Gohde goes away, puts the code in an HTML page, and what does he discover ?

It positively does NOT contain TEXT embedded in an image.

And the last horse crosses the finishing line. Slow hand clap.

What next ? Will it be apology or bluster ? I keep seeing the same hands going up…

It is nothing but a very ordinary TEXT hyperlink with a background image. Anybody who says otherwise does NOT know what they are talking about.

The above code is about as common as you can get. It positively does not contain TEXT embedded in an image, even if you are high on drugs.

We know that, John. We knew that several days ago. Only you were saying otherwise.

And, I am growing very tired of people who do not have a clue as to what they are talking about…

You and us both, you toothless, abusive, dangerous, buffoon.

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