John H. Gohde: his hatred and racism cataloged

Well, that was an easy decision, based on the feedback we’ve received the site must live on. Though the two offers received for the domain were a thousand dollars (US) more than I had originally thought we’d get for it.

With John H. Gohde’s Igor like brain he’s surmised that the actual registrar of this site must be a member of the Google Help Group because…

Wait for it….

No really this is good…

Worth waiting for…

The logic is infallible…

Not in a million years could someone with an IQ above 70 come up with this…

Are you getting antsy?

Okay, I can’t hold back anymore, here’s his proof:

1. Must have been a regular in one of the many forums he was banned from for abusive behavior.
2. They both used Godaddy to register the domains.
3. They both use wordpress.

Wow. I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in. I really mean WOW! You just cannot make this stuff up, it’s just plain too good. The logic of a three year old right there on the internet.

Considering that each of the three groups of people listed above must contain millions of people.

1. Google Groups: Largest forum on the web.
2. Godaddy: Largest registrar on the web.
3. Wordpress: Largest blogging platform on the web.

With literally seconds of investigation this reporter has dug up another possible owner of this blog who was a poster in Google Groups, registered a naturalhealthperspective domain at godaddy, and uses wordpress.

That’s it, there you have it, indisputable evidence that this blog is indeed run by no other than John H. Gohde himself.

I guess the mystery is over.

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I’m getting pretty bored with the whole John H. Gohde thing, and now it’s been brought to my attention that he is blindly attacking people that have had nothing to do with him or this site for a very long time. So I have a few options:

1. Go back on the offensive and start cataloging his abusive treatment, with quality links to the people he is attacking.
2. Sell the domain name to those who want to continue the effort.
3. Just disband the whole thing and put up some new content that has nothing to do with John H. Gohde or Natural Health.

I was leaning towards #3 as the offers I’ve had for #2 are hardly worth the effort but since he is taking back to his abusive ways with absolutely no proof on innocent victims I’m starting to lean towards #1 again.

Would all contributers to this blog please send me an email with your vote.

If Gohde removes the abusive content against Webado and JLH I may just have to take the site down, as he is no longer pounding away in the Google help groups anymore. If/when he does, someone please send me a note as I haven’t even seen the posts yet as I don’t watch his stuff too close. He’s got about 50 free worthless blogs now from what I hear.

If your vote is for #3 and Gohde complies, what should we change this site to?

The Administrator.

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John H Gohde: the modern day Holmes They’ve combined their massive intellects, spent hours of deductive reasoning, and finally come to the conclusion that the person behind this site is….someone else entirely.

In other words, John Gohde’s climbed up to the top of the Reichenbach Falls… and jumped right off. With concrete weights tied to his feet. And laughing at his brilliance while he hurtles down.

The obsessive John H Gohde - whose appearance and demeanour is more Columbo than Sherlock Holmes - has spent literally hundred of hours on his painfully slow AOL dialup connection desperately trying to figure out which of the hundreds of enemies he has made over his years of trolling could possibly be running this site, and despite dozens of late evenings frantically googling various combinations and phrases, is still absolutely none the wiser.

So Gohde leapt at the chance when someone suggested that he ‘knew’ who the author(s) of this site were. In fact, Gohde was so so confident that he trumpeted his downloading of software that compares different passages to see if they were written by the same author.

Unfortunately, he’s soon going to realise three things. Firstly, and most obviously, they are not written by the same person, and yet again he’s made a fool of himself. Secondly, he might just finally cotton on to the fact that there are a group of people behind this blog, not just one individual (and none of them are his ’suspect’) and that most posts here tend to have been prepared by two or three people and then edited by another.

(Want some very simple proof that he’s got it wrong? Take one example: look for regional spellings. His supposed ’suspect’ always spells “recognize” on his blog with the American or Canadian spelling but never with the English spelling. On this blog, it’s exactly the opposite: we’ve never spelt it like that - the only time it appears here as -ize is in a direct quote - and we’ve always used the -ise variant. Just call us quirky.)

Thirdly, he’s going to realise that he’s been played like a fool by Igor Berger,who gave him cast iron assurances that there was definite proof that he had found his man. It’s going to be interesting to see how Gohde reacts when he finally realises that he’s been expertly played by his former apprentice.

Of course Gohde will be privately kicking himself in trusting the judgement of the “lonely, creepy,ageless, hairy” Berger: the 45-year-old married man who was recently thrown out of a Osaka shopping centre after unsuccessfully trying to persuade young girls to have sex with him.

According to Berger’s own blog, the girls told store security that Berger had offered them money in return for having sex with him; Berger denies that he offered money, but admits approaching the girls, attempting to photograph them, and also admits he had around a thousand dollars in cash on him at the time. (Berger describes his ‘little hobby’ like this: “I have this interesting habit of walking around trying to pick up young girls…it is fun to do”, adding that after being approached by security guards “it took the fun out of the game”.)

And if nothing else, it has once again exposed John Gohde’s hypocrisy: we made the decision when we set up this site to focus on information which Gohde had himself put into the public domain (although we know a great deal more about him from our team members in Richmond, VA). (Gohde, astonishingly, likes to attack us because he claims that information he himself placed on public groups accessible to anyone is somehow ‘private’).

Gohde, on the other hand, has published not only the private address of his supposed ‘enemy’, but also his parents’ address based on the flimsiest of evidence. It something that we will bear in mind as this website continues to expose John Gohde for the aggressive racist troll that he is.

And - oh, John ? Better luck next time…

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“I know ! When I insult people on a newsgroup, I’ll add a “no archive” tag to my posts so that when someone looks at my past posts, they won’t see the ones where I make vicious personal attacks ! Ha, hah…ha !”

“And to think I used to have to delete my nastiest posts by hand - which is why no-one knows that I said to a female newsgroup user “Hope you get your throat cut by a nice little nigger, too. You certainly are asking for it.” or “Sadly, we continue to suffer from the presence of the negro variety of homo sapiens”. I’m a genius !”

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(New here ? John H. Gohde’s cv is a great starting place to find out what this site’s about)

Ah, the old is-the-tomato-a-fruit-or-a-vegetable debate, much beloved of magazine brainteasers and TV quiz shows.

And do you know what we like best about the debate ? Whatever side you choose, you’re a winner. Say it’s a fruit - well, it’s got the seeds on the inside, so you must be right. Say it’s a vegetable - well, when you’re dicing it up with cucumber and lettuce, it’s hard to argue with that either. Or there’s the third option - it’s a berry. So you can argue your own pet theory, no-one can decisively prove you wrong, and everyone can laugh about it and get on with their lives.

Unless, of course, you’re John H. Gohde - the racist, sexist, abusive internet troll whose sense of self-worth is entirely dependent on never, ever, admitting that you are ever wrong, because to do so would unravel 14 years worth of attempting to prove that you’re an expert of something, anything - it doesn’t matter what.

So we had a good chuckle when we can across this recent thread in alt.support-diabetes which ended up being hijacked by John H. Gohde - and it reminded us of an almost identical thread from 2002 - which resulted in the hateful and idiotic Gohde getting his trolling ass well and truly kicked.

But more on that later - back to the humble tomato. The thing is, it’s exact classification is an interesting conundrum. While the tomato has a botanical classification as a fruit due to having seeds on the inside, like apples and oranges, it’s lack of sweetness generally means it it classified as a vegetable under the culinary definition.

So, a rare opportunity for Gohde to be right whichever side he takes. And the only way he could possibly be wrong is that if he suddenly started to make up his own classifications off the top of his toothless head.

But that’s exactly what he does. Oh dear.

“[Tomatoes are fruit] when eaten raw. They are vegetables when cooked. Just my opinion, but I am right!”

(Recognise that catchphrase ? It’s almost always wrong, but rarely has it been more wrong that this. Three statements, but only one of them = “just my opinion” - is correct….)

Not unreasonably, other posters challenge Gohde to back up his argument:

“How about bananas? Do they become vegetables when cooked? Apples?”

Now note that there is still wiggle-room for John to check his references, realise that he’s makin a fool of himself and reclarify his position. But that goes entirely against John Gohde’s fragile and manufactured ego: so he climbs in his hole and gets on with digging:

“What is the problem mate?…In the irrational world of human nutrition, Fruits are eaten raw while vegetables are cooked. I got a reference on it. Do you really need a reference?”

O….kay. I think we might need that reference, John….

Other posters continue to debate the curious logic behind this:

“Does that mean that raw carrots are fruit? Or celery, zucchini, spinach, lettuce, broccoli or cauliflower? All of which are very often eaten raw. “

Can John H. Gohde take this on board ? He has two ways out: to admit his mistake (little shame in that) or to try to bluster and insult his way out of it. Which approach do you think he will take ?

Yup, you’re right.

First, he repeats his incorrect initial assertion:

“Botanists say that Tomatoes are fruits, but when I eat them cooked (which is the *only* way I eat them) they are vegetables.”

Then the bluster:

“Many food items are often placed in food groups, which differer (sic) from their scientific names. One other example would be buckwheat which is classified as a Grain, even though scientifically it is not. Likewise, Flaxseed is classified as a Grain, even though it is not. Why? Because they are ground up, just like other grains are, to make flour which in turn is used to make bake goods like bread and pasta. “

So instead of trying to produce proof, again he’s trying to bamboozle and confuse those who he knows have found out his ignorance back up his argument that either the culinary or botanic definitions are affected by whether the plant, fruit or vegetable is cooked.

And where bluster begins, insults aren’t far behind:

“This THREAD once again painfully points out just how pathetic the participants of this ng really are when it comes to common knowledge about nutrition. “

and

“Maybe your real problem is that you are just another nobody?”

(In case you didn’t recognise the proof of his argument, you’re ignoring that he used BLOCK CAPITALS. That means he must be RIGHT)

But what of these mythical references which backs up his argument ?

“See ~ Advanced Healthy Diet Guidelines ~ http://food.naturalhealthperspective.com/dietguidelines.html “Vegetables and fruits in nutrition are loosely distinguished by the need for cooking Vegetables, while fruits may be eaten raw. But the distinction is imprecise and often fails to be totally consistent.[3]”

Ah. The reference - which hardly proves the point anyway - is on Gohde’s website, written by Gohde himself. So John Gohde must be right, because….John Gohde agrees with him. Persuasive, no ?

But wait - Gohde’s frantic Googling also managed to dig up a a solitary other reference which he hopes may still save his pride:

” Tomatoes if cooked are vegetables, if eaten raw are fruits”

And where’s it from ? I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that ? All I could hear was the sound of a barrel being scraped. A dictionary from 89 years ago, you say ? Not exactly cutting-edge. The definition certainly doesn’t appear in any modern version of the dictionary (see http://www.m-w.com/) Why could that be, we wonder ?

And buried amongst all the bluster is a small admission he’s hoping will be overlooked:

“I certainly have my own diet guidelines and my own food group definitions.”

before ending on a characteristically flamboyant bout of arrogance:

“Here, endth your nutrition lesson for the day. …Hark! My private health newsgroup beckons! “

Which is where John Gohde was praying that it would end.

Except it didn’t.

Quite rightly, the other posters start to take exception to a long-standing troll making nonsensical posts on a scientific newsgroup. And they have clearly got the measure of Gohde:

“Uh-huh. Did you ride a short bus to school as a young lad? Did they make you wear a hockey helmet? “

and

“He does come-across like some sort of certifiable idiot, doesn’t he? You don’t really think he is, medically, a few fries short of a happy meal, do you? “

and

“Probably just a severe personality disorder, although the intensity of his delusions hints of some level of psychosis. Of course, it would be easy to write off John ‘the Wanker’ Gohde as just a troll, except that the amount of work which he devotes to his silly website indicates a full-blown Usenet kook. I’ve also noticed that, despite the size of his website, there’s not a single photograph of ‘the Wanker’ on any page. That would probably screw the whole deal, eh?

Other posters are quick to point out the huge, gaping holes in John Gohde’s argument:

“Oh, *now* I see…. you’ve reclassified the food groups. How good of you to do that for us. “

to which Gohde responds, in typical hate-filled character:

“Anybody who believes in taking control of their own life would do the same….You have my condolences. “

…which means….what, precisely ? If you are serious about health, science and nutrition, you should start to make up your own scientific classifications ? But there are more insults still to come from Gohde, who is cornered,on the ropes, and with what little reputation he once had now in tatters:

“The dolts on [sci.med.nutrition] are too stupid to realize just how stupid their comments about nutrition truly are. “

But even at this stage in the argument, Gohde could still salvage some credibility. Remember, there are strong arguments to be made that a tomato is only a fruit, only a vegetable, or both simultaneously. What there is no credible evidence for is that tomatoes are in one state when raw, and another when cooked. Another poster appears to throw Gohde a lifeline:

“I think it is important to keep in mind that food products need to be kept in their nutritional context, rather than their botanical, for purposes of health. For this reason, tomatoes, with seeds, have a nutritional make-up that is much more akin to that of most vegetables.”

Does John Gohde take this proffered lifeline ? Or does he start to spew bile ? Guess.

“I will repeat it one more time for the benefit of the truly stupid on this
THREAD. That includes our Twit bicker. A true Fruit, which in this case is the tomato, WHEN it is eaten raw like a fruit; It is really a Fruit nutritionally speaking. A true Fruit, which in this case is the tomato, WHEN it is eaten cooked like a vegetable; It is really a Vegetable nutritionally speaking. Hark! My private health newsgroup beckons!”

and to another poster:

“You are the dumbest Twit who has ever visited smn in a long time. And, I do mean visited. “

(No, us neither.) The poster patiently responds:

“Does this mean you’re going to stop cussing at me for highlighting the failures in your logic?”

As is typical, Gohde ignores a question he has just no answer for, but uses a tried and tested technique of using insults and bluster to distract from the flaws in his argument.

“Perhaps, if you were to focus? I see no reason to have an emotional breakdown in public over the proper classification of the tomato. …This THREAD is clearly a marker for how little the participants in smn actually know about nutrition… Anybody who thas (sic) trouble comprehending something so simple as how food is classified into food groups, and resorts to calling me names is clearly immature. “

The fallacy of which is quickly pointed out by another poster:

“Why? Because they don’t agree with your self-deluded reclassification of the world’s plant life? “

More bluster from Gohde:

“Yeah, just imagine me having the nerve to say that a Fruit eaten as a Fruit is a Fruit.”

Which was never part of his original argument, of course. At which point, Gohde withdraws from the argument, shamed, and humiliated.

And as rewarding as it is to see a longstanding internet troll be humiliated, and receive his comeuppance for all the hatred he has heaped onto complete strangers over his years of abusing the internet, there is an important point to be made.

Gohde’s veneer of confidence and self-belief is only paper thin, and regular newsgroup users that tackle John Gohde head on, and reveal him for the ignorant and hateful racist that he really is have always eventually received their reward. Despite his bile-filled bravado, Gohde will always - always! - move on to another newsgroup that stay and be revealed for the failure that he really is.

You can look at John H. Gohde’s internet legacy from two different aspects. One is the glass half-empty approach: after 14 years of on- and off-internet abuse, hatred and racism, and at 57 years of age, Gohde is not going to change, or have a road-to-Damascus-like revelation.

But there is also the glass-half-full approach. Gohde’s bile is now restricted to an extremely narrow audience (almost entirely composed of himself and fellow troll Igor “The Troll” Berger). So while he continues to write vindictive and vicious posts in his own blogs, hardly anyone is reading them (and those that do are able to see the truth of what we have been blogging about for the last few years - his blogs are arguable more damning to Gohde’s reputation than even this one).

And let’s look at his history: Gohde was thrown off Wikipedia, not just once, but on four different occasions. The skinny and unhealthy John Gohde was then laughed off alt.sport.bodybuilding and alt.fitness.weights when it was revealed that he didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. Google Webmaster Groups ? Banned. And what happened to Trollback mountain ? He left when he realised he was ignored, unmissed, and no-one else was around to abuse. Misery loves company.

So don’t give up. Expose him for what he is. Make sure other internet users know of his shameful history - and that his swaggering bravado is simply a sham. Because this is one usenet poster we can all live without.

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We have an apology to make.

Pride comes before a fall, and we were proud of what we’d done here. So proud, we honestly believed that there was no-one else who could create a website that would be better at proving what a numbskull John Gohde was.

Fact is, we were plain wrong.

There is someone else out there even more committed than us to publicise how bitter, angry, vicious and stupid John Gohde really is.

There is someone else who makes him look even more of an idiot than we do.

Can you guess who it is yet ?

Your first reaction will be: wow. Also, your second. And your third.

Let’s distill this bitterness down.

1. According to John H. Gohde, in his revisionist version of recent history, three of his four expulsions from Wikipedia were gross injustices, perpetuated by admins who are “stupid, little mentally ill troll[s]”

2. What is more, these gross miscarriages of justice inhibited Gohde’s constitutional right to free speech. (To recap on John Gohde’s definition of free speech: it’s only the right for him to say things like “When your brain is fucked up enough to be gay, then every aspect of your life is totally fucked!” or “women should NOT be allowed to vote” or “exactly how many nigger dicks have you sucked in your life ?”. On the other hand, he’s tried repeatedly to get this website closed down, when we bring together his abusive comments from his 14-year Usenet trolling campaign.)

3. There happen to be some websites that criticise Wikipedia. Because of this, that makes Wikipedia wrong for not tolerating his abusive trolling, or his anonymous vandalism of wikipedia pages from the IP address of the offices of Refugee & Immigration Services in Richmond, Virginia. But what Gohde simply can’t grasp is that the enemy of his enemy is not necessarily his friend. Contributors to forums such as Wikipedia Review (and that includes some of us here) despise racism, despise sexism and despise bigotry as much as everyone else.

4. His Wikipedia career - which involves four bans totaling 28 months, and being the very first person brought to arbitration there - was in fact “very successful” and “another success story for John H. Gohde”. (Stop sniggering at the back). He intends to return after his ban, and he expects to be banned again. This will indicate an even greater success, and finally affirm John Gohde as one of the modern day geniuses. (Or, that he’s an old dumb troll. One of the two, anyhoo)

5. Oh, and “Wikipedia is a cesspool of the mentally ill bent upon wasting tons of time doing absolutely nothing.” He even seems to be able to say this with a straight face, and with no apparent irony.

PS. New here ? Here’s John Gohde’s biography.

PPS. Oh and John ? Whoever “Gohdeilocks” is, or was, it’s not one of us…(but you met two of us in your most recent spell on Wikipedia.)

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We must admit, after his latest humiliating banishment (his second in six months), we thought John H Gohde would lie low for a little while before continuing his trolling. If nothing else, all that hating must be exhausting.

But no - we got an email from someone at sci.med.nutrition, the scene of many of Gohde’s most bitter, racist and angry posts. He’s back, under his old posting identity of “Mr Natural-Health”

But the question is: has he learnt, and has he changed ?

Look at his first five posts there, and you be the judge:

Post #1: A poster asks whether the behaviour of olive oil when chilled can be indicative to its purity. Gohde has nothing to contribute to the thread, but that never stops him from butting in: “Please STOP abusing the English language. And, say what you mean next time.”

Post #2: A poster asks: “From chemistry lessons I know that fatty acid aldehydes and peroxides have strong smell and taste of rancidity. How could this be that the industry manages to mask these properties? What are the additives which mask the smell?” Gohde doesn’t have a clue, but can’t pass up the opportunity to insult another poster: “If anything is defective, I would say that it is your half-baked notion that all rancid or otherwise unhealthy oil must smell bad.” A third post in the thread suggests that Gohde is just plain wrong.

Post #3: In answer to the question: “Has anyone ever heard of 1200mg per day of lecithin causing muscle achiness and/or pain?” Gohde doesn’t have a clue: they didn’t cover that in his 70’s accountancy course. Go for an insult instead: “Trust your intuition, because your logic is not much better.”

Post #4: In response to a poster who posts an extract of the paper “Vascular events in healthy older women receiving calcium supplementation: randomised controlled trial” which appeared in the British Medical Journal, which concludes: “Calcium supplementation in healthy postmenopausal women is associated with upward trends in cardiovascular event rates.” Gohde thinks different, but hasn’t undertaken any BMJ-published peer reviewed studies himself to refute this, so he blusters his way through unconvincingly: “Generally, if you were to spend the time to actually read these totally bogus research studies they are extremely likely to be doing something totally stupid, such as you have suggested above. These people are bigoted, plain and simple. Totally devoid of any research ethics, they will stoop to any low-level to prove that taking supplements is dangerous. “

Post #5: Classic John Gohde: now he’s got into the swing of things, the hate can really flow: “Tom operationally proves that mental illness is both real and persistent! Tom thumb used to live in a shoe, that did not have an Internet connection. Hello! Anybody home? Everybody on the planet has gotten your message ten years ago. Now, can you kindly get a life?”. He signs the message: “John who hates ironjuctice (sic)”, in case anyone is in any doubt.

So what can we learn from this ?

Well, firstly, John Gohde is never going to change. He is a deeply angry, racist, misogynistic, embittered and dumb old man, stuck in his ways, refusing to learn from his mistakes and so doomed to repeat them.

Secondly, he needs an audience, he hates to be ignored, and trolling gives him all the attention he needs.

Thirdly, on the internet, Gohde can pretend to be an expert who is surrounded by petty imbeciles, whereas in his day to day life, Gohde is a lonely failure, surrounded by people who consider him to be a petty imbecile, whose own health is poor, and whose teeth rotted away in his forties, and who is an embarrassment to his family. Newsgroups and Wikipedia give him the opportunity to reinvent himself as a healthy nutrition expert, and so pretend that his 57 years on this planet have not been in vain.

(Want a primer on Gohde ? Read this)

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Two days, ten minutes.

Given that banned Wikipedia editors cannot edit anything on Wikipedia, (including their own user pages) that means he’s just added another two days onto his 366 day ban (it’s a leap year!). Of course that’ll only happen if someone notices the edit - so let’s all keep quiet about it !

Anyway, even if caught, I’m sure he’d be treated leniently. I mean, it’s not as if he’s boasted about breaking a Wikipedia ban before. Oh.

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As the man himself would put it: “Ha, … Hah, Ha!”

But is he likely to learn from it ? Let’s see:

[John Gohde] has behaved inappropriately on a consistent and excessive basis…has made personal attacks in violation of Wikipedia’s policy…has misused edit summaries in an effort to intimidate other editors…[has made] numerous personal attacks to members of the wikicommunity… refuses to work with people…has admitted to trolling…he writes derogatory comments in page summaries…therefore, [Gohde’s] privilege to edit Wikipedia [will] be revoked for a period of 30 days“

Time taken to make an abusive or hostile edit, once he returned after the ban: 17 minutes

Ban #2, 20 Aug 2004 - 20 Nov 2004:

“The findings of fact expressed at [ban #1] have not changed. This user still behaves inappropriately on a consistent and excessive basis, makes personal attacks in violation of Wikipedia’s policy, and uses edit summaries in an effort to intimidate other editors…Since it is evident that the previous 30 day ban of Mr Natural Health did not attain the intended result, we rule that this user shall be banned from editing for a period of three months.”

Time taken to make an abusive or hostile edit, once he returned after the ban: 2 hours 32 minutes

Ban #3, 30 April 2005 - 30 April 2006:

“John Gohde has engaged in personal attacks during the course of this dispute…has made very few edits that have added new content…has revert warred…does not show a clear understanding of how to work with others on this project…lack of consideration and respect for other contributors…an inability to work effectively with others…John Gohde is banned from Wikipedia for a period of one year…[Gohde is further] placed on personal attack parole for a period of one year”

Time taken to make an abusive or hostile edit, once he returned after the ban: 27 minutes

Ban 4, 12 Jan 2008 - 12 Jan 2009:

“[Gohde] has returned to the behavior which got him in trouble twice before…he is particularly fond of personal attacks, revert wars, disrupting Wikipedia to prove a point, incivility, and using Wikipedia as a vehicle to promote his own website…[He] continues to escalate disputes in a foolish way…his response to the block was uncivil and shows a strong and highly inappropriate martyr complex…John Gohde was previously sanctioned in three Arbitration cases for inappropriate behavior. Since then, he has continued to engage in a variety of such behavior, including incivility, personal attacks, and assumptions of bad faith, grossly inappropriate commentary, attacks in external forums, soapboxing, and gaming the system…John Gohde is banned from Wikipedia for a period of one year. “

Time he’ll take to make an abusive or hostile edit, once he returns after the ban: From the above, we’re guessing it’ll be less than a couple of hours. We’ll run a book nearer the time…

So see you in twelve months, John. (Think how much “your” articles will have changed by then ! ) Until then, enjoy writing more bitter diatribes on your websites about how Wikipedia is suppressing free speech, how the world is conspiring against you, and how everyone but you is to blame for your ban. But remember: your criticism of Wikipedia just indicates that you have a bad attitude. Now who wrote that, I wonder ?

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Eight months ago, just after John H. Gohde was thrown off the Google Webmaster Help group, we correctly predicted the three childish ways this 57 year old man would react to his expulsion. Namely:

1. “I never wanted to be in your gang anyway and I was going to leave anyway before you threw me out so I AM THE WINNER !”
2. “You are all stupid and I never wanted to play with you anyway”
3. “I’m going to get a better gang and they’re going to come and beat you up and then you’ll be sorry for making me cry.”

Even before the verdict in his Wikipedia arbitration has been announced , Gohde has realised the writing is pretty much on the wall, and that his extensive history of hateful Wikipedia trolling has finally caught up with him for the third time. So he’s posted what may well be his farewell message to Wikipedia on the talk page of his fellow troll and former apprentice Igor “The Troll” Berger (who was thrown out of Google Webmaster Help Groups at the same time). Notice a familiar pattern ? (We’ve added numbers to help you out)

1. “Looks like I am out, yet again. No problem’o. I was just about to leave Wikipedia again on Christmas day on my own.”
2. “This place is a colossal waste of time with tons of stupid rules designed to waste the time of truly creative individuals while promoting the activities of totally untalented editors who only know how to tear apart the work of others.”
3. “But be assured Wikipedia has given me tons of new material to write on. And, I certainly will be writing elsewhere, if not on Wikipedia. I will be spreading the message about the great Satan.”

You couldn’t make it up.

But it is the reply of the 44-year-old “lonely, creepy, ageless, hairy” Igor that is most illuminating, showing that the two men share a common trolling purpose:

I was hoping you would stay because you have so much to teach us, but you desided to die for the cause….but who knows now that they got you, they may be coming after me!

Igor Berger goes on to suggest that Gohde could subvert any future ban by editing anonymously, or under a new user name, something specifically banned under Wikipedia rules:

“And while you might be out officially, I am sure I will meet you unofficially as an anon or some nice user name like SecretAdmirer”

Igor Berger (right), aka Igor the Troll

Berger’s weird and erratic Wikipedia history - including one recent 24 hour period where he continuously made abusive, bizarre, surreal and vaguely threatening posts mainly to other users’ talk pages - have been on the radar of other Wikipedia admins for some time, who have long suspected that his true intention is to subtly create disruption, rather than actually contribute. And it seems increasing likely that, like his hateful soulmate Gohde, the man who styles himself “Igor the Troll” may soon have to find a new community to abuse.

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People you don’t want to see at certain moments in your life:

1. The Grim Reaper in the crowd, a half-second after you leap off the bungee platform.

2. Dr Kevorkian pulling on the latex gloves, just before you go under the anesthetic for an appendectomy.

3. A state trooper in your rear view mirror, when there are two hitchhikers’ bodies in your trunk.

4. A health-inspector coming out the restaurant kitchen with a cat collar in an evidence bag, just after you take your first bite out of the hamburger.

5. Your former apprentice Igor Berger, aka “Igor the Troll” (”You fuck with me, I will Troll you for life!“), who boasts of having been banned from over a dozen blogs and forums for trolling, coming out and publically declaring that he supports and admires your work, when you’re facing being thrown off Wikipedia for trolling and abusive behaviour.

(PS. New here ? Here’s a primer)

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We’re running a sweepstake: I’m putting ten dollars on a six month ban for John Gohde, the abusive editor with “a strong and highly inappropriate martyr complex.” with such a sense of perspective that he believes that a Wikipedia caution is pretty much equivalent to being repeatedly gang raped by seven men, lashed, and imprisoned for six months. (That’s a new low, even for him).

I’ll also place a twenty that at some point he’ll use an abusive sockpuppet to describe a Jewish Wikipedia editor as a “Christ Killer”. Hey, what d’y'know ! I win !

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Hello, Wikipedia editors ! From your emails, there seem to be a lot of you who found us by Googling “John Gohde”, hoping to find out a bit more about the man and his methods.

Well, you’re in the right place. Make yourselves a coffee, sit back, and read on. And remember: every single fact below can be found in Gohde’s very own posts during his 14 year abusive internet campaign.

“John Gohde - WTF ?”

Yes - that’s the reaction most people give when they’ve seen a few of Gohde’s posts on Usenet, or his work on Wikipedia. He is, as they say, a piece of work.

Who is he ?

Gohde is a notorious and dangerously obsessive internet troll, who spends a huge amount of time making abusive, threatening, women-hating, homophobic,anti-semitic or racist posts on the internet.

At best - if there is such a thing - he is merely an annoyance. At his worst, he is a venomous, bigoted and vicious old man who causes huge offence, disruption, and causes a great deal of grief to newsgroup users. There has also been clear and constant suggestions that his health advice in particular would be extremely dangerous - and possibly fatal - if relied on by others.

Gohde has a long and inglorious record of arriving at a newsgroup, pretending to be an ‘expert’ in the field, and then spending the next few months making a large number of on- and off-list abusive posts and threats to those in the community. Without fail, Gohde is then either thrown out of the group (eg Wikipedia, Google Webmaster Groups) or leaves of his own accord after the community rallies against him.

Want an example ? Take this disagreement when he was trying to pass himself off as a bodybuilder, where he called other posters with whom he disagreed as “cunts”, “ass-holes” and “child abusers” in quick succession.

Gohde is also no stranger to sockpuppeting and has used literally hundreds of different email addresses during his 14 year campaign on the internet. His email has changes partly because he has been thrown off several ISPs for abuse of service, but also to avoid killfiles on usenet groups such as sci.nutrition.

Is Gohde his real name ?

Yes. John Henry Gohde is now 57 years old (born 4th June 1950) and lives in Richmond, Virginia. He was briefly married, and has one son, now 29, who also works in Richmond as math teacher and artist. Gohde suffers from mild depression. Both of his “less than perfect “parents (his words) are now dead; Egon, his father died of leukemia at 73, and his mother died in 2003 at the age of 83.

Gohde is almost entirely friendless, and his brother and sister keep him at a distance.

Gohde avoided the Vietnam draft by registering on an accountancy course. He brands those who did serve in Vietnam as “morons” and “baby Gook killers”. While a devotee off right-wing shock-jocks, he has also stated that those who are currently serving in the military are “screwing the American taxpayer out of big money over their lifetimes”. He also signed a personal attack on Wikipedia as “John Gohde, the German Nazi from New York”.

Who else does he hate ?

Pretty much everyone. His personal hate list is long and numerous, but to give you a taster, he has professed hatred towards:

- The British (”a bunch of sadistic Homo’s”)
- People who eat organic food (”no brains! …no critical thinking skills!”)
- Web developers (” all web developers are nothing, but Fraudulent Spammers”)
- Linux users (”Any body Still using LInux is a self-admitted A-Hole”)
- African Americans (”Sadly, we continue to suffer from the presence of the negro variety of homo sapiens”)
- Anyone who hand codes HTML (”biggest A-Hole web designers”)
- Homosexuals (”When your brain is fucked up enough to be gay, then every aspect of your life is totally fucked!”)
- Doctors (”A doctor is a total idiot, just like you, who knows how to manipulate the system in order to make everybody else think that they are a lot smarter and more educated than they actually are”)
- The homeless (”Whether society should put [the homeless] in jail, in a work camp, or in a mental hospital is purely splitting hairs”)
- University graduates (”A-holes like you are a dime a dozen too. But, that don’t stop the universities from cranking out more idiots each year. “)
- New Orleans flood victims (”If an entire city, is dumb enough to live under sea level then THAT city is the party that should be paying for their own stupidity.”)
- Robin Williams (”slime ball actor”)
- Jews (”The ones who murdered Jesus”)
- Internet users (”a total moron who does not have a clue as to what they are doing”)
- Nurses (”money grubbing slime”)
- Lesbians (”fundamental lack of self-esteem”)
- Google (”Always unstable. Although I would prefer to call it a total mess. How it manages to function at all, with 100,000s PCs located all over the globe is beyond me”)
- Women (”The women of today do NOT know what it means to be a female”)
- Left handed people (”a mutation”)
- Those who rely on science (”Fools!”)
- Christians (”Quite disgusting helpless excuses for human beings”)
- Google’s Adam Lasnik (”a piece of shit that clearly should be terminated from Google under any standards”)
…and especially (and ironically)…
- Wikipedians (”mentally ill anti-alternative medicine bigots”)

Does he have a job ?

We’ll stick to what information Gohde himself has made publically available:

1. Gohde has previously said that his job involves dealing with immigrants

2. Gohde has said that he works locally to his house in Richmond, VA.

3. Gohde does not like immigrants, who he describes thus: “They all have one thing in common. They are ALL extremely greedy!!! “

4. Gohde likes to make anonymous edits on Wikipedia, including from the IP address “67.62.69.162″

5. This IP address resolves to Refugee & Immigration Services, 1512 Willow Lawn Dr, Richmond, VA.

Is he really a health expert ?

He would like you to think so, but the truth is somewhat different. Much of what John Gohde posts on Usenet and elsewhere is designed to present an image of a muscular, healthy man, with extensive knowledge of biology, nutrition and dieting.

The truth is that Gohde is thin and skinny, and whose diet for many years consisted almost entirely of Burger King fast food and cola: the former sent his cholesterol to dangerously high levels, while 30 years of the latter (combined with poor dental care) rotted his teeth to such an extent that they were all extracted in 1991 at the Medical College of Virginia School of Dentistry. He now wears dentures.

Gohde is keen to attack the medical credentials of others on Usenet, even when they are credential and experienced health professionals.

Gohde’s own credentials are rather less than impressive. He attended Brookside Elementary School in New York, before gradusating from high school in 1969. He claims to have graduated first from Bridgewater College in 1973 with a BA in Psychology, and then from James Madison University in 1976 with an accountancy degree. He later took a thirty hour graduate course in Information Systems.

What happens when he’s revealed to be a fraud ?

When cornered, Gohde will always try to bluff or bluster his way out of his ignorance with posts that suggest that the answer would be obvious to anyone with a brain and that he is not going to waste his time explaining it to people of lesser intellects.

Is he any kind of expert whatsoever ?

Well, you can’t blame him for not trying. He’s tried to be an expert on health (failed); an expert on bodybuilding (he weighs 145lbs, and has no upper body strength); an expert on computers (laughably); a medical expert (dangerously) and an expert in search engine optimisation (hilariously).

Is he for real ?

From emails we’ve had from those who know Gohde personally, the Gohde you find on the internet is pretty much the same Gohde you will find in real life: dumb, abusive, racist, keen to blame everyone else but himself for his current predicament, quick to dish out abuse, but very thin skinned when it comes to receiving it. In real life, Gohde comes across as even more bitter, though he tones down his racist views in public.

Who set up this website, and why ?

The group of people behind this website came together through a mutual desire to see Gohde not wreck yet another internet community. We began by researching his history on the internet - in just the same way as you probably found this site. We spent a lot of time collating the 20,000+ usenet posts Gohde has made under a huge number of different aliases, putting them together to paint a portrait of a man who has spent well over a decade abusing and attacking strangers. (We are helped in this that two of our team are also based in Richmond VA, giving us an opportunity to study him at very close quarters.) And once we did all that, we began to examine his family history, and to try and figure out what exactly motivates him to spend all his time creating so many enemies.

You must be very bitter to set up this website

Initially, possibly. Now, we’re just fascinated and repulsed, in equal measure. We believe that it’s very important that internet communities know of Gohde’s history, and the huge offense and disruption he has caused in the past. All the information we present here is publically accessible to those with enough time on their hands: we have just brought it together in one place for ease of use.

And what does motivate Gohde ?

In a nutshell ? Without being too unfair, John Gohde is a failure by anyone’s criteria, and most certainly his own. The internet gave Gohde a whole new chance to reinvent himself as a success and an intellectual heavyweight, which he seized with both hands. His attempts to portray himself as an expert in various subjects, is really an attempt to persuade himself, not others, that the 57 years he has spent so far on this earth have not been spent in vain - and that there will be some record of his life left after he dies.

What keeps bringing him back to Wikipedia ?

See the above. In the past (and in the near future !)has been banned from Wikipedia on numerous occasions for his inability to play nicely with others, causing bitter tirades such as this one, where he describes Wikipedia as “pure chaos and mob rule”, “Internet forum garbage”, policed by admins who have “absolutely no personal life” (rich, coming from the friendless Gohde) and who are “mentally ill individuals”. He also likes to let off steam with the odd bit of anonymous vandalism of wikipedia pages.

And in his revisionist version of history, why was Gohde thrown off Wikipedia ? “Personal attacks” says the Wikipedia report. “I was just too good at doing, what I did” says Gohde.

So who do you believe ?

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Is anyone else finding John Gohde’s latest attempt to hijack Wikipedia both tragic and hilarious ? We’ll be posting more on that here soon….watch this space.

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We thought we’d seen the last of him: but after just one month and seventeen days away from Google Groups, John Gohde couldn’t stop himself turning on the abuse again.

And how was his sad, abusive comeback heralded ?

“How about reading the subject line, Dummy?”

Lovely. Nice to see he hasn’t lost any of his charm.

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John was never that great at math, even at school.

He’s lonely once again. Banished to Trollback mountain, he plans and schemes how he is going to inflict his revenge on Google’s Adam Lasnik. Occassionally, he and Igor talk about Google Webmsater Groups, where they both used to troll until they were both banned.

And maybe the loneliness if getting to Gohde’s aging mind, which was never the sharpest at the best of times. For here he asks the question:

Show me any user profile of mine over the past 6 or 7 years where I have posted in total more than 350 posts in one single month. At the height of my posting activity at GWH, I never posted more than a few hundred posts in total, let alone on just GWH.

Glad to help, John. Well, let us think….

Off the top of our heads: how about January to June last year, when your monthly totals were 384, 441, 453, 348, 359, 339 and 435 on your now abandoned “johngohde@naturalhealthperspective.com” identity alone ?

Of course, you are helped by having used up to two hundred different posting identities in your thirteen (!) year trolling history. Why so many ? Mainly to avoid killfiles, but also so when he makes a racist or abusive post like this:

Go fuck a nigger and make a lot of nigger babies
and see if I care. Nigger lover

…he can slither into a new identity with no posting history.

But let’s do the math. Gohde has made just under 19,000 posts on usenet alone since 1997 - that’s an average of over five a day, every day, for over a decade. And yet he has the nerve to criticise others for the time they choose to spend on the internet ?

And the crucial difference between his posts and the poster he compares himself to ?

Her posts are aimed at helping others. Gohde, on the other hand, used his posts to spill racist bile, to troll, to abuse others, and to give out dangerous and misleading health advice.

Case in point: since his banishment to Trollback Mountain - the Google equivalent of a Siberian salt mine - Gohde has made 56 posts. But not a single one has either been on topic, or has helped anyone else in the group solve any problems. Instead he plans bitter revenge against those he believes wronged him - without stopping to realised that he himself is solely responsible for his sad predicament,

Gohde is a bitter man, who only admits privately his battles with anger management and depression. Scarred by an unhappy childhood, mocked by everyone from school to work colleagues, now left alone, shunned by even his own family, he is still desperate to make his mark on the world, and to show that he has achieved something lasting in his time on this earth. But the sad irony is that despite his desperate efforts, he will not be remembered,and he certainly won’t be missed.

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No John Gohde on Wikipedia.

No John Gohde on Google Webmaster Groups.

Our lives are back to being a troll-free zone.

He’s apparently still making the occassional post to Igor Berger over at Trollback Mountain. As always, their correspondence is marked by a unspoken sexual tension. But it’s nobody’s business but there’s what two grown men get up to.

And he’s still cornering the occasional co-worker with his opinions. Human Resources are planning to hold classes on faking your own death to get out of this eventuality.

And he’s apparently trying to post more on one of his blogs. His long awaited masterplan for revenge ? Say nasty things about people he doesn’t like. He’s an evil mastermind.

But in the real world…it’s all so quiet. We like it that way.

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So how is John H. Gohde taking his humliliating banishment from Google Webmaster Groups ? With humility and a quiet promise to learn from his mistakes ? Or with bluster, ignorance and false bravado ?

Have a guess.

Gohde’s now effectively banished to a Google Labs iGroups, a sad and lonely little group referred to by the Google Webmaster Help group as “Trollback Mountain”, where he and fellow troll Igor Berger can troll each other to their hearts content, and share in their banished love which the rest of society just doesn’t understand. We quote from here:

Igor to Gohde: “JHG, there is smoething (sic) I have to tell you, but I cannot say it here. Come to my forum, and I will talk to you in PM. “

Gohde to Igor: “I will post you there tonight. “

Igor to Gohde: It’s nobody’s business but ours.

Gohde to Igor: You know I ain’t no troll.

Igor to Gohde: Me neither.

Gohde to Igor: “Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin’ real good life! Had us a place of our own, that Google Webmaster Group. But you didn’t want it, Berger! So what we got now is Trollback Mountain! Everything’s built on that! That’s all we got, boy, fuckin’ all. You have no idea how bad it gets! I’m not you… I can’t make it on a coupla trolls in an empty newsgroup once or twice a year! You are too much for me Igor, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you. “

(Okay - we did make that last few up)

Now - with Gohde’s past history of being thrown out of discussion groups, it should be easy to see how he’ll react. We can expect:

1. “I never wanted to be in your gang anyway and I was going to leave anyway before you threw me out so I AM THE WINNER !”
2. “You are all stupid and I never wanted to play with you anyway, even for the previous ten months I was playing with you every day”
3. “I’m going to get a better gang and they’re going to come and beat you up and then you’ll be sorry for making me cry.”

And what’s the first post he makes after he’s been thrown out ?

• Never wanted to be in your stupid gang anyway: “The old group was as boring as it gets. I would have left them long ago, had it not been for those trolls being so down right nasty.”
• You are all stupid:“Time to stop throwing my pearls upon moronic slime, I say. “
• I’m going to get a better gang:“My next new FREE website will be about me playing with those SEO Trolls, just like a cat plays with a mouse”

But it gets funnier.

Of all the great avenging characters, who does Gohde choose to liken himself to ?

Just like in Ghostbusters the movie, the form of the destroyer has been chosen by the SEO Trolls, except that this time it wont be Stay Puff, the Pilsburghy Dough Boy.

Hillariously, he can’t even get the name right. Oh dear.

Well, if the form he will take in future has been chosen by the thoughts of those in the Google Webmaster Help groups, expect a giant asshole to start rampaging through the streets of Richmond any time soon.

The only question is: how will we spot the difference ?

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Since nearly declaring victory yesterday, we thought it would be nice to show our loyal readers the success of this blog.

It’s been a great journey.

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